Just Elope!

I had no idea wedding planning would be this hard. It's one of the worst things I've ever had to do. Not only is it taxing on the individual, it's taxing on the couple. We end up arguing about stupid stuff like whether or not a photographer sucks or the way a vendor sets up fee schedules. You sit there bickering at each other, mostly because other people are stressing you out, and you end up wondering why you would undertake a feat that strains your relationship in order to celebrate your relationship. Sounds ridiculous, huh? And, you'd think your wedding is for the two of you, but it's not. It's really for everyone else, but the two of you. It's about making everyone else happy. Sounds ludicrous to me. My man recently said that he doesn't like to dance, but he'll be expected to dance up a storm at the wedding just to please everyone. I said SCREW THAT!!! "It's OUR wedding and if you don't want to dance too much, then you don't have to." Then someone told me we won't even be able to eat our dinner at the wedding because we won't have the time. We'll be too busy going around and thanking everyone. SCREW THAT!!! We paid a pretty penny for our location and the catering, so we're eating our damn food! I don't care what anyone says.

And, whoever thought up party favors was a nimrod. You're giving us a gift and in return you get a free meal and entertainment. We're even-steven! Besides, most people throw away their party favor after the wedding, because it's usually some ugly figurine of a couple and a heart with a date on it. But, I'll bet that "ugly figurine" cost the lovely newlyweds a fortune.

And, then there's that STUPID STUPID STUPID CAKE! C'mon everybody...let's be honest. The cake always tastes like crap, right? It's usually some regular, dry yellow cake with some white icing on top that ends up half-eaten and rotting on expensive linens after the music stops. And how much does that cost??? Oh, maybe $3,000 to $5,000. My advice is to go into the bakery and say you're having a birthday party and need a cake to feed 250. I guarantee you it'll cost 50% less than if you'd asked for a wedding cake to feed 250.

Well, I'll admit it. I've always wanted the fairytale wedding, but once you go through even a quarter of the planning all you want in the end is a simple, barefoot ceremony on a beach with 10 guests.